Keep The Fire Burning

This message was taught by both Pastor Stephen Brown and First Lady NeShante Brown.

The same people that the devil has the single people ready has the same married people dry.  You have to do everything in your power to keep the fire burning.

Gen 2:24


²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

How do we become one flesh? You become one when the marriage is consummated. You have to have sex regularly. Leave your parents out of your marriage. Pastor Brown and First Lady Brown made a covenant to never call their parents on each other. When you tell your parents they are looking at you guys crazy even though you guys have made up. It will be hard to commit adultery when you are having sex regularly. Singles ladies: He is marrying not just for your intelligence, you having a job etc.


Gen 1:28


²⁸ Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” 

God is saying to have sex and have it all the time. Before you try to dominate other things get married and have sex. God put Adam asleep and took out a rib. You can't have spare ribs. If you've tasted another rib don't do it again. He made it for mental and physical enjoyment. It's not good for a man to be alone and he needs a help mate. Adam needs someone to make love to. He made Eve and not Steve. God also wants us to reproduce.

Reasons why married Christians are having problems in the bed:
  
There are things in between the husband and wife
  
1. Lack of prayer - not praying for your sex life. Pray to keep the fire burning.Anoint yourself with oil.
    People get divorced because of lack of sex.

NeShante Brown - She says specific prayers. God knows your husband better than you do. God can give you secrets to please your spouse. Ask God to give you ideas.

   Prov 5:15-20


    ¹⁵ Drink water from your own cistern,
       And running water from your own well.
       ¹⁶ Should your fountains be dispersed abroad,
      Streams of water in the streets?
       ¹⁷ Let them be only your own,
      And not for strangers with you.
       ¹⁸ Let your fountain be blessed,
      And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
       ¹⁹ As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
      Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
      And always be enraptured with her love.
       ²⁰ For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman,
      And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?

Let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband (1 Cor 7:2). You may think    it's  better on the other side but it's the devil. It's not real, it's an illusion. There's no responsibility there. When there is a real relationship there's a responsibility. Husbands/wives are responsible for certain things.
 Sex is the #1 Googled word in the world.

2. Unforgiveness - Don't let it get into the bed.

  Matt 18;21-22


   ²¹ Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? 
       Up to seven times?”   
    ²² Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

How long are you going to let that pain in your heart? You can't bring it up every 5 minutes. You can't tell
the other person to get over it either. Talk about it until there is healing. 

NeShante Brown - Just like offense is a stumbling block so can unforgiveness. You have to decide in advance to forgive. Christ forgave us. What if Jesus said he won't forgive you today? It's hurting you more
when you don't forgive. How much are you going to let the offense impact your life?

Men: learn to initiate the apology. You are the head of the household. Women: you hold onto stuff for a long time. You hep to set the atmosphere.  When the atmosphere is not right the bed isn't right.
 
NeShante Brown - Apologies are very important when sincere.

3.Past - keep it out. Your wife may not be into the things sexually your past lover was into. There are also
   soul ties and she can't make a connection to you. You can't compare your spouse  to everyone. Ladies: 
  you can't expect the men to be the same as the guys you dated in college.

How many people are in your bed?

  2 Cor 7:1-5

¹ Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:
It is good for a man not to touch a woman. ² Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. ³ Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵

When you are married your body doesn't belong to you. There is no such thing as no. You may not be in the mood but you can't say no. If you deny the spouse the devil will get into the marriage. It has nothing to do with your husband being a good boy. The only time you don't have sex is when there is fasting but there has to be agreement between the spouses.

NeShante Brown -  There is no such thing as saying no. It is easy between the Pastor and First Lady because there is noting between them that prevents them from having sex.

4. Lack of communication - Talk about what you like and don't like.

Heb 13:4

⁴ Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Third party and bestiality is not allowed! 

There are 5 Love Languages:

Words of affirmation
Quality Time - Just spending time with the person
Gifts - Your spouse may like receiving gifts 
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

NeShante Brown -  Concerning the past. If you are a virgin you can't hold it against the other person if he or she is not. It's self righteous to hold it against them. Men have sex drives and women have communication drives. Men don't want the sex drive quenched and the women don't want the communication quenched.

People will hit on your spouse. Don't let your spouse be thirsty for compliments.


5.Lack of creativity - What are you doing to keep things interesting? Ladies, don't walk around looking like Aunt Jemima. He needs to come home to the most beautiful woman in the world. If you can't look at your spouse naked who will you look at?  Look the best you can at the size you are at. You had a lot of ideas when you were in sin. Now you are married you are not creative anymore.

NeShante Brown - during the time of the month you may not feel sexy so you may want to put on shorts or sweats and pastor understands. Don't make a move on major hair decisions. It's not about not being able to do what you want with your hair.You want to make sure he likes it.